Mood...

i really want to eat a croque madame. i miss cooking.

i want to go to paris and i also want to live in a b&w postcard.

i want it to be summer so badly, but summer actually makes me sad for the imminent end of it.

Mondrian Cake

The Hair Delusion

i always think of getting something done to my hair as a treat, but without fail, every trip to the salon ends with me feeling sorry for myself. why i repeatedly forget the trauma and continue to look forward to getting my hair cut or permed is not an example of optimism, but just being a moron.

i had been looking forward to this haircut for months. i had a bad perm in korea (again, another irrational exuberance turned toxic moment) and after patiently tying my hair back and looking unremarkable for months, i wanted a fashionably layered cut. i had also been growing my hair out bc i've never had long hair before and for just once, i wanted to be feminine for what seemed eerily like the last chance i'll ever have to be youthful, feminine, and beautiful (in the self-esteem sense).

i got to the salon and described my vision in painstaking detail - bc i attributed prior disasters to the fact that perhaps i just wasn't explicit enough. it included something about layers, keeping the length, keeping it light, and bangs. but this visit ended up being just like every other salon visit. they looked at the mop on my head, told me they're going to trim away the damage, and bc my hair quality is so bad, they'll have to do this and that adjustment blah blah blah. i'm not one to argue with expertise, so i just went along with it.

after spacing out over korean magazines for an hour, i looked up. it wasn't what i was hoping for, but i didn't look horrible, which is way more than i can ask for from a trip to the salon. so, i tipped big and danced all the way home. all was dandy until i took a shower and washed out the professional styling and products, and realized i looked like an orphan.

this will undoubtedly happen again. i'll pin my bangs down, tie my naps back, and wait patiently as my hopes of beautiful hair renews. it's the delusion that a new haircut could suddenly change my life for the better (make me look better in my crappy clothes, change my vibe from homely to edgy, or just simply give me beautiful hair for once) that keeps me going back. but one day, i will have to accept the truth, which is that i don't have beautiful hair. a digital perm on a friend with naturally silky hair is not going to look the same on my kinky, porous rat's nest. everyone has a natural baseline and mine is looking like an orphan.

i knew a blog would be too ambitious of a project for me. i should have just stuck to things i'm good at, like throwing ninja stars. but! i have been trying out some flatbread recipes, including everything from the flat to the bread, and a health(ier) cookie recipe made with cognac and sea salt. recipes and pictures to come within the year.

p.s. why are potatoes so gross?

Tobiko + Shiso Pasta

I've tried styling foods before taking pictures, but to be honest, the pics that look the best are the messy ones with food that looks tortured, writhing in fear of its destructive and sadistic creator. Sentient food. Yum. Maybe kids aren't really a good idea for me.

Ingredients:

1 thingy (container?) of tobiko

6 leaves of shiso, chiffonaded

3 cloves of garlic

1 tbsp of evoo

1/4 cup of white wine

1/2 cup of clam juice

angel hair pasta for 2

Directions:

Boil pasta in salted water for 4-5 minutes and drain. Do not rinse the pasta and reserve some of the starchy liquids if your pasta gets too sticky later. Saute garlic in evoo over med heat for 2 minutes and add wine until it's almost all evaporated. Add clam juice and let simmer uncovered for about 10 minutes. Toss pasta, tobiko, and most of the shiso leaves. Plate and top with remaining shiso leaves and serve immediately.

I saw the funniest thing in Italy. It's called Diet Piggy. Judging from the grammar and abusive language, it must be Japanese - making it even more appropriate for this post. The box reads, "When fridge is opened, interesting "OINK" sound will remind you not to eat anymore! Your best friend who reminds you of keeping diet, keeping fit and keeping healthy! Have enough? Then stop eating! OINK OINK". This is the kind of relationship I need with my fridge.

Sherried Cream of Portobello Mushroom Soup

One of the reasons I enjoy cooking is because I'm such a homebody. Leaving the house means looking presentable and often I'm too lazy to brush my hair/teeth and change into anything more restricting than an oversized t-shirt. This soup is so easy to make and it's great for the summer. I imagine that if I had a breezy balcony, a charming bouquet of flowers, and a good book, this soup would go well with it. *sigh* one day!

Ingredients:

3 large portobello mushroom caps

1 small onion

2 cloves of garlic

1 sprig of fresh rosemary

1.5 cups of chicken, beef, or vegetable stock

1/2 cup of heavy cream

1 tbsp sherry

2 tbsp fresh chives

Directions:

Quarter and thinly slice mushrooms, chop onions and chives, mince garlic. Cook mushrooms, onions, and garlic over med heat (in some evoo or butter), stirring occasionally until softened and liquid has evaporated. Add stock, cream, and sprig of rosemary and simmer for 15-20 uncovered. Remove rosemary and either blend with an immersion blender or your magic bullet. Stir in sherry, a little bit of salt/pepper, and top with chives.

Baking for Beginners (Like Me) - Sponge Cake

Again, I love anything with eggs in it - omlettes, custards, meringues, popovers, and especially foam cakes. Angel cakes, sponge cakes, and chiffon cakes are all foam cakes. They contain a high proportion of eggs or egg whites in relation to other ingredients, and they rely on a foam created by beating eggs or whites for their leavning and delicate strucure. Leavening comes from air trapped in the egg foam that gets hot and expands in the oven, aided by the steam produced as the moist batter bakes.

Equipment: Two 8 or 9 inch round layers (for layered cakes), one 9 inch round cake. I like to bake my sponge cake in ungreased pans becuase it tends to cling to the sides and get more volume. Feel free to line the bottom of the pans with wax or parchment paper (here is how) to get a nice, smooth surface.

This recipe (and most of the informative facts above) are for the most part from the Joy of Cooking book. It yields a very light cake when made with 3 eggs, and a moister, larger one when made with 6 eggs. I just made mine with 8 egg yolks (leftover from my meringue fiasco where I had to battle crusty, dried meringue all over my kitchen with a scouring pad) with meringue powder to substitute for 8 egg whites. Yum, it smells so EGGY! I can't decide if I want to serve it grilled with a passionfruit compote or if I should make a layered cake out of it.

Make sure all ingredients are at room temperature (about 70 degrees) and remember to beat the egg whites using clean, dry stainless steel bowls and mixer attachments. The slightest bit of grease will make you want to kick and scream.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sift together:

1 cup sifted cake flour (click here for substitution)

1.5 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

Beat in large bowl at med-high speed until thickened (about 1 min):

3 or 6 large egg yolks

Gradually beat in:

1 cup sugar and beat for 3 min longer

Beat in:

1/4 cup boiling water

Beat in:

zest and juice of 1 lemon

1 tsp vanilla extract (optional)

At low speed, gradually beat in the sifted ingredients.

Using clean beaters in large bowl, beat at med-high speed until stiff but not dry:

3 or 6 large egg whites

1/4 tsp cream of tartar (can leave out or substitute)

I used meringue powder for simplicity and bc I didn't have egg whites

Fold one-quarter of whites into batter (see video on how to fold egg whites), then fold in the remaining whites. Scrape batter into the pan(s) and spread evenly. Bake until the top springs back when lightly pressed and a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean; about 25-30 minutes for two round pans. Cool on rack in pan upsidedown.